MAGAZINE WORLD: Wale Talks Relationship Titles

Wale is back with one of my favorite features HoneyMag.com presents. This time, he tackles the definition of a relationship. I really like what this dude has to say. I usually only post excerpts, but I love everything he has to say. Check it.

"A wise woman once told me that there is no such thing as boyfriend/girlfriend (insert air quotes) status. You’re either married or single. I think that mentality only works for optimistic free spirits. The carefree. Those who live for the moment. Those who never pursue or search for love – they consider it something they will eventually stumble upon. To these people, titles are meaningless.

I, on the other hand, believe a title is the second most effective form of validating one’s affection, next to “puttin’ a rang on it.” You see, some people look at titles as simple vernacular, a way of claiming a piece of property. Claiming someone as my girlfriend is a reflection of pride. Being able to look my girl in a room full of vultures, corporate folk, beautiful women, and dudes in search of ass and cleavage and being able to say, ‘Hey, this is my girl.’ It’s like saying, ‘Out of the six billion people on this planet, this is the one person entitled to every facet of me.’ This is who consumes my thoughts, this is who motivates me to be a better person, she is my she. In my opinion titles create a level of security for a woman. Us men like to have the safety valve. The option to be able to say, ‘But we’re not in a relationship.’ In other words, a get-out-of-pu$$y-jail-free card. It essentially allows you to fuck who you want, when you want — without any significant repercussions.

I’ve also been in love with a woman who didn’t want commitment, but still treated our relationship as a monogamous situation. In retrospect, maybe I should have been okay with it, but the lingering frustration with the apparent imbalance of #thatthing, pushed me to say some things that eventually ruined our friendship.

Which leads me to the term friend. The classification gets used so loosely and so often when referring to the not-quite-my-boyfriend-but-we-still-f*c% associate, that it’s nearly impossible to gage someone’s true feelings. I’ve learned from experience that some people are simply scared to death of growing up and shy away from any form of responsibility. In high school, boyfriend/ girlfriend was more an accessory used to decorate a sentence. (ie. ‘I’m goin’ to the movies with my boyfriend.’ To teenage girls, it sounds way cooler then, ‘I’m goin’ to the movies with Josh.’) But as you mature, the connotation behind bf/gf status is more about restrictions — not being able to sleep around, not being able to go to clubs every other night, and constant nagging about the aforementioned. You can’t guarantee that putting a title on something that’s already flawed is going to make it better. But you can’t guarantee that not defining it will make the relationship less complicated. I guess what I’m trying to say is that defining an existing relationship is as unpredictable as a pair of dice. The only thing I can say with certainty is that once that relationship status is spelled out, something will change, for better or worse. These are just my thoughts, ladies and gents. Thank you for reading. Love often, love hard, and love consistently. Peace."

Honestly, I agree with everything he has to say. Wale can definitely find a side hustle with some young people relationship advice. My fave line: "The only thing I can say with certainty is that once that relationship status is spelled out, something will change, for better or worse." So true!

Your thoughts?

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